So much of what troubles us is either our past experience or anxiety about the future. For some of us, the past seems the larger problem because it was, at one time, something real. Despite the fact that the past does not exist, its repercussions are real, and often, the challenges we endured leave a residue we wish we could eliminate.
John Lennon said, “My thing is, out of sight, out of mind. That’s my attitude toward life. So, I don’t have any romanticism about any part of my past.” It is wise to adopt this attitude.
Some view the mind’s sole purpose as taking us out of the present and into the remembered past or imagined future. Because the present moment is the only real part of our life, we know we are not missing anything crucial if we choose not to recycle memories, rehash details of events that scarred us, or attempt to rationalize our behavior and reactions under those stressful moments. It is a choice to step out of the mind, to not identify with the thoughts.
Be aware of any tendency to romanticize the past. The good times were likely not as good as we remember as we long for the days when…
Avoid the idealization of past events and perpetrators.
If a past circumstance seems like a loss, ask yourself what it truly gave you that supports your well-being and long-term contentment. The answer is often “nothing.”
In Death of the Ego: The Path to Endless Bliss, Ethan Walker points out that the survival of the ego depends on these memories. The larger our egos are, the more food they require, leading to obsession, compulsion, and entanglement with these memories.
He maintains, “The memory of past pleasure and pain remains as an imagined, vibrating and living entity because our ego’s needs inject this memory with a life of its own.”
He goes on to say, “We fill these balloons of memories with the air of our vital life energy. Therefore, our memories appear to be alive, and they control our thoughts and actions. These events are clothing for our ego.”
Bruce Lee, whose philosophical prowess was at least equal to his martial arts mastery, said, “To live in the Now, there must be dying to everything of yesterday. Die continually to every newly gained experience.” It is only the lesson that should be carried forward.
Learning to let go of the past is a significant step toward mindfulness and peace. Who are you now, without reference to the past? Once we gain comfort with who we are in the Now, some of the most fundamental and hardest work is already behind us.
