We often strive for challenging goals, whether they relate to work, family, or our health. Depending on the importance we attach to that goal, we may develop some level of anxiety or worry about our ability to reach it. We often doubt ourselves.
Here, we briefly look at five key steps you can take now to stop doubting yourself. In order to overcome self-doubt, one may either reduce its symptoms or look to gradually remove the root cause. We will make use of both of these strategies.
Three Quick Ways to Reduce Self-Doubt
First, we discuss three steps that may quickly help lower the level of doubt:
- Reflect on past achievements
- Draft an action plan and begin implementation
- Increase positive self-talk
Reflect on past achievements to reinforce your capabilities and build confidence. Take an objective look at your relevant track record or history in the area of concern, honestly point out the high points, and give yourself honest kudos. Focus on these areas and let this focus replace the worried thinking about potential outcomes.
Create an action plan and include several smaller, foundational tasks that are important but do not pose a great challenge. Start now by checking these off. Begin one and complete another. Do this a few times and watch as the project plan comes to life. Appreciate this momentum and step in the right direction. You may give yourself a pat on the back, but now start to move to the intermediate and later steps, which may be more time-consuming. Some days will yield less progress than others, but we are constantly moving in the right direction.
Our inner critic (or ego) often shows us an unrequested collection of images, worries, self-limiting criticisms, fears, or doubts. We must learn to carefully watch this habit. It is common in humans but is dysfunctional. We must start to recognize it and replace any negative self-talk with a focus on our abilities, what we have planned, or what we have recently accomplished. Focus on the present moment and positive steps for the future. Increase positive self-talk. Avoid comparisons with others, use positive affirmations, and challenge any doubts by questioning their validity.
Our final two discussion points are a part of a path toward removing self-doubt at its root. Through these practices, we may start to weaken the origin of self-doubt. We accomplish this over time by our continued efforts to practice:
- Self-compassion
- Non-identification with thought
We live and breathe self-compassion by treating ourselves kindly, as we would a friend. This supports our intent to counteract negative self-talk, but more importantly, it blunts the power of any judgments we place on ourselves. These include our fear of coming up short on any goal or situation that is creating doubt. We will learn to recognize self-limiting beliefs that are not grounded in reality, and we simply accept the thoughts as random musings. We don’t necessarily “decide” to think those thoughts, but we make sure we do not believe them.
Non-identification with our thoughts is a critical step toward achieving peace and reducing doubts. It will, over time, help to eliminate a lot of suffering caused by our own ego and also help to remove doubts specific to our current objectives. While thoughts pop into our heads without our intent, it is an important choice to not regard them as representative of our true selves. Much of our thinking is fantasy, worry, fear, and, yes, doubt.
When a thought or memory triggers doubts or a painful emotional response, we should regard this as both a threat and an opportunity to make a choice.
If we decide to think about that emotion, we ask for stress. If we simply feel the emotion in our body, we will avert the threat of mental punishment from the ego. To feel the emotion, look for tightness, fluttering, pain, or other physical sensations in the body. It may appear in the neck, spine, stomach, or other locations. Without additional thought, the feeling in your body will sometimes help you understand the reason the emotion is coming up. Then, it may be let go if it is essentially a self-limiting belief.
Believe in the Process and Take Action
The above concepts and techniques have a proven track record. That being said, it is important for you to personally believe in them and then put them into practice. Given an open mind and consistent effort, doubts will lessen over minutes, days, months, and years. The trend of progress will be noticeable and constant. We can be confident we will overcome self-doubt.
